Waterboarding

So, here's the thing.  I had a crap day yesterday.  I'm hesitant to even talk about it too much because I don't want to fixate too much on the negative but I do want to keep you all informed of how the water test went. 

I had a better week last week and was just focused on physical therapy and sleeping/resting and I noticed improvement when I just laid down and didn't do much.  I had a big setback Sunday night, though, and I was so bummed to wake up around 2AM to bad vertigo that lasted throughout the morning - I hadn't had it in several weeks so I was so disappointed to take a step backwards.  I still went into see my Neurologist as scheduled Monday and before doing the water test, they put me back on that horrid spinny chair for 1.5 hours to try to find the source of the inner ear crystals.  Unfortunately, my results STILL showed the downbeat eyes so they were unable to "catch" any crystals, they even tried spinning me through several 360 degrees to no avail.  After that, it was time for some eye tests where I kept the goggles on and tracked a LED light around a dark room.  Luckily, my results were all normal with that.

Finally, they did that god awful water test.  I've been joking about it being water torture not realizing how awful it would be - I guess that was my way of coping with nerves and minimizing the possibility, but wow.  I knew it could cause nausea but I guess I wasn't aware that the test in and of itself causes episodes of vertigo and dizziness.  They push cold water into each ear, alternating for 1.5 minutes each which wasn't so bad, just like it sounds - cold water flooding into your ear, and felt like I was just going deep under water.  What surprised me was it sent me into a horrible vertigo episode about 15 seconds into it, it was so awful and I had to stay with it in order to track my eye movements.  Maybe because I'd already had vertigo that morning, or maybe because I'm already so sensitive to it, who knows, but it was miserable and I was so embarrassed to cry.  They did cold water in both sides, then gave me a 5 minute break to boo-hoo and collect myself (the guy was actually so sweet and you could tell he felt so bad) and then did hot water on both sides which had the same effect.  While the water stayed in my ear and they monitored my eye movements, he asked me to name various things which I'm sure if you were a fly on the wall would be funny to hear a bawling girl trying to name types of flowers in between the sniffles "um, roses? lilles?  daylilles?  calla lillies?  roses? "  The kicker?  A couple people had to come in at the end to sheepishly report to me "Um, Ms. Warren?  I am so incredibly sorry but the left ear showed abnormal results so we're going to have to do it again".  Seriously?  What the????  I tried so hard to be brave and I went through it again once they explained it was better to know for sure whether it was abnormal test results or truly that my left ear showed several nerve damage.  I'm glad we retested because the bottom line is good news, my eyes responded as they "should" to the water test!  Thank goodness, this means no permanent damage in 2 of the 6 parts of the inner ear that are able to be tested.

Unfortunately still no clue why this is happening and they're still thinking it's just the crystals but meanwhile since I've had a setback and am still symptomatic the doctor took me off for the rest of July!  I felt really low when she recommended that and I was so disappointed, I was worried she was predicting it would take that much time.  But, I've been working on that mental aspect trying to remind myself I could get better faster than that and always go back sooner, I'm not doomed into that return date. I'm in better spirits today though am feeling pretty sick still, it always takes a while to bounce back after a vertigo episode.  Sigh.  I got up and did my thing at the gym again, I'm trying to get back on that horse.

Nothing else planned this week other than physical therapy daily - next week is more acupuncture. Thanks to everybody for all the support - I'll keep you updated.