Doc update

So, had the ENT appointment yesterday to consult about the inner-ear steroid injections, and it really went well.  He had his own goggles to check my eye movements while maneuvering me on his table and it was nice to have a second opinion - he also was able to confirm that I had eye movement on both sides which proves I not only have BPPV (Benign Positional Paroxysmal Vertigo), but I also have loose crystals in both the right and left ear canals.  I've only been seeing the one doctor group, albeit different PA's within that group, but it was actually nice to have another doctor entirely to take my history and come to the same conclusion. It was sweet, after he saw my eye movements, he launched right into Rob, advocating for me saying things like "this is so hard on a marriage, she looks like herself but this has such a devastating impact, her symptoms like brain fog and disequilibrium cannot even be described and loved ones often don't understand"...I had to quickly cut him off to let him know Rob was my biggest advocate and totally gets it...but I thought that was cool he was such a big patient advocate because I would imagine not everyone is as lucky as I am to have such a loving, supportive and PATIENT partner throughout this incredibly frustrating process.

The ENT was very concerned that I have crystals rolling loose everywhere and is frustrated as we are that it has taken so long and we've yielded zero results from the chair maneuvers, so he is in agreement that we move forward with the steroid injections.  He was very clear, however, that this is fairly experimental, and  is largely based on his good experience doing these injections with patients with Meniere's Disease - he just recently started doing them with patients with BPPV.  He's hopeful, however, and since the risks are low (and treatment as usual isn't working), we're planning to move forward starting next week - I'll do them Monday, Wednesday, Friday.  He will numb the area, then apparently after the injection through the ear drum I lay down on my side for 30 minutes in the office, then at home the rest of the day in order for it to fully "soak in" as much as possible.  We're going to start on the right ear (which has the most eye movement), then will go chair movements in 2 weeks or so, then will see if it worked.  If so -- we'll move on to the left ear to do the same thing.

I meet with the Rheumatologist on Friday and am really eager for his opinion and the direction that consultation takes as well.  A lot up in the air, a lot to be nervous about but also a lot to be hopeful about so I appreciate all good thoughts and prayers. 

Speaking of good thoughts/prayers, my sweet friend Sarah shared two Bible verses with me that brought me peace and I really appreciated her heart:
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  (Phil 4: 6-7)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer 29:11)

I also read a really powerful part in a good fiction book the other day that spoke to me - it is called The Art of Hearing Heartbeats by Jan-Philipp Sendker (I loved it and recommend it) but so neat, there was a part about a wise monk in Burma that felt like he was speaking to me:
"...that life is interwoven with suffering.  That in every life, without exception, illnesses are unavoidable.  That we will age, and that we cannot elude death.  These are the laws and conditions of human existence, U May had explained to her...life is a gift that none might disdain.  Life, U May told her, is a gift full of riddles in which suffering and happiness are inextricably intertwined.  Any attempt to have one without the other was simply bound to fail".  Hmmm.  Simply beautiful.  Obviously, I'd rather cruise into my elderly years unscathed, and this was definitely unexpected and oh-so humbling, but the fact is, it IS happening and fighting it is too exhausting.  Rolling with the reality and coping with it, and finding happiness throughout is a much better option, I think.

That's it for me.  And now, for my random happiness of the week, a video of an adorable red panda.  Please to enjoy:

http://www.wimp.com/redpanda/