My buddies visit!!!

I have been so blessed throughout this whole vertigo crapoloa experience to have some lovely visitors and 2 weeks ago I was so lucky to have my good friend AnneMarie and her new precious baby Benjamin over for a visit.  It was so uplifting to hang out with my girlfriend, and of course I always love a good baby snuggle - and he's super good at the snuggling.  :)  Love that little buddy!!!

 Look at this precious smile!!!!

 And now he's pooped.  It's exhausting hanging out on Auntie Beth's knees all day, getting photographed.

Sparks 40th

2 weekends ago (that's how behind I am on stuff, cripes!), our friend Alex celebrated his big birthday in style - with a huge party, a taco truck and a band.  woot!

It was a great party, we had such a fun time.  Here's some highlights:

First, Bennett observes the beer fridge before he hits the sack.  He's quality assurance.

 George looks like a standup comedian in the garage lounge.

 Karen and Binney - my girls!

 

 Shots - nothing good can come from this...

 I think this is my favorite pic of the night, post shots Karen breaks into a fist pump, because of course that's what happens.

 Ok, here's my 2nd favorite shot.  Way to mix up the margs, KK!

 Man, I haven't had a tequila shot in so long, and Yona roped me in. 

 Clearly it had been a while - I love my face here!

 Not really sure it was a smart idea for the dizzy girl to get on the treadmill, but at least I had a buffer in the back in case I went flying off.  And I was holding on.  :)  A couple that fast walks together stays together.

 Alex showing us his cool moves, the "Alex".

Good times.  Here's the link to the whole slideshow if interested:

Doc appointment update

Well, that whole experience sure did suck.  My appointment last week was the worst of all of them, it definitely took the cake.  First, we reviewed my lab work that we had redrawn a month after my ear infection had cleared up in hopes that the IGg deficiency was a false positive due to the infection, but unfortunately my lab values had dropped even more which is quite alarming.  So, now we're moving forward very quickly with referrals to the rheumatologist and will start the inner-ear (transtympanic) steroid injections soon in hopes that these "cool down" the inflammation going on in my inner ear.  So, I'm pretty freaked out at this point in the doc appointment when the main doctor comes in and drops the bomb that my beloved PA who I've been seeing through this whole experience is leaving in 2 weeks; he's joined a new neurology clinic and unfortunately I can't join him because (1) they don't have a spinny chair at that clinic and (2) the specialty of their clinic is migraines, not vertigo. 

I'm just feeling so low at this point in the appointment - this news just totally threw me for a loop and losing my doctor at a time when I'm feeling so vulnerable makes me concerned about changing horses mid-stream and I'm fearful my treatment options may fall through the cracks.  Of course I'll continue to be an advocate for myself and since my appointment I've worked hard to be mindful of staying positive and not catastrophizing the latest event...but still, it was a really crappy day.

Since then, I've also had a lovely chat with my doctor who profusely apologized for the way we learned that he was leaving and we talked about a plan for my hand off to another PA in his absence.  I'm feeling a bit better but still, can I just vent for a moment that I'm just so freakin' frustrated.  I want this to be over already and I want to be better.  I don't want to be going to doctors still and looking for reasons why I'm still dizzy, and looking for cures, etc.  But what I've learned through this whole experience is we're certainly not in control as we think we are, and sometimes better things come from difficulty and turmoil.  As a lovely friend of mine pointed out, she says that "winter" is very important in our lives because all the plants and trees are stronger if they go through the winter.  I love that. 

You know what else I love?  Kelly Clarkson's song "Stronger".  That song is like my personal chorus right now - when it comes on my ipod at the gym, I jam on that bike.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, indeed. 

And lastly, you know I always have to end on a laugh, especially when I've just been a bummer.  I am kinda freaked out about my upcoming inner ear steroid injections, I'm not going to lie, the thought of getting stabbed in the eardrum is creepy.  You know what it reminds me of?  That hilarious old SNL sketch of the two security guards with Billy Crystal and Christopher Guest: ball peen hammer?  Indeed.

C: "You know what happened to me last night. I took one of those -- what do you call them?"
G: "Meat thermometers"
C: "Yeah. I took one of those meat thermometers and just . . ."
G: "Shoved it right in your ear"
C: "Yeah, ooooooooooooo!! that smarts"
G: "I know what your mean"
C: "I hate when that happens!"
G: "Me, too"
C: "Then I took one of those . . . those . . ."
G: "Ball peen hammers"
C: "Exactly, I took a ball peen hammer and just rapped that meat thermometer deeper and deeper into my head"
G: "That smarts"
C: "I hate when that happens!"

Fun in the 'sac

Have I mentioned that we scored the neighbor jackpot?  'Cause we did.  Man, we absolutely adore our neighbors and seriously love just hanging out in our 'sac and chatting at night while all the kids run around and play.  It's my favorite thing and it blows me away when I think about how we all randomly landed not only in this neighborhood, but also in the same cul-d-sac.  It's amazing.

We went out with a bunch of our neighbors last weekend to celebrate two of their birthdays, Jay and Swati's, to Solace in Encinitas.  Unfortunately this is the only group shot I have of us (from my iPhone) and our eyes are all creepy, I think we look like fembots.  But we're way hotter, of course.

On Sunday, it was glorious and we were hanging out chatting while the kids played, and next thing you know, it turned into an impromptu block party in the 'sac.  Suddenly there were like 20 of us, it was great.  I love our 'hood!

The (long overdue) health update

Well, here it is.  Not alotta happening since the last time I posted on my health, so I think I've been avoiding rehashing a non-topic, or beating a dead horse.

It's essentially been about 6 weeks of the same symptoms - I feel incredibly stuck, frustrated and hopeless sometimes, but I am trying really hard to remain as positive as I can and mindful of the fact that this is still temporary.  It's such a mind-game, but I'm trying to focus on the now and what "is" as opposed to worrying about the future, possible outcomes and my job.  Trust me, it's a daily exercise in mindfulness and positive self-talk because my mind quickly goes to the "what if" bad place and it's no good.

I think part of what is so challenging is around 6 weeks ago, I had a decent 2 weeks with mild symptoms and I was noticing some improvement, so I really started getting my hopes up.  I started really mentally gearing up for returning to work, I got all excited and frankly, got really hopeful.  When the next vertigo hit at night, I crashed and burned dizzy-wise and I haven't had improvement since, so it's been hard emotionally just having more of the same when I've had a taste of the "good life".  I know logically I can get back there again, but it's so hard when it's all out of my control and I have no idea what even caused the improvement OR the setback.

I guess the good thing that IS different is me.  I'm so much better at moving on and refusing to let my symptoms dictate my life.  Now when I'm feeling like crap I still do whatever I had planned to do for the day, and I keep my routines of working out, cooking and hanging in the 'hood, all of which make me feel happy and productive.  No matter how I'm feeling, I never turn down offers from people to come by and visit or any social events...and all of those are things make me so happy! Hell, being dizzy and feeling like crap, surrounded by people I love (which makes of course keeps me distracted and happy) WAY beats just sitting at home on the couch focusing on how dizzy I am. Ultimately, this whole experience will pass and I'd hate to look back on this time and feel like it stole a chunk of time from me - instead I'm just so grateful I'm moving forward and enjoying life, even though it's taken a different path right now.

I'm heading back to the OtoNeurologist tomorrow for another chair ride, which surprisingly, I'm really looking forward to because I'm feeling so awful right now.  We're also going to review my lab work and look at those other treatment options to see if there really is an autoimmune component to this whole thing.  Will post next week with updates, but for now there are some fun blog posts pending over the next several days that I already did but scheduled in the future.  It's advanced blogginess.  Her royal bloggess here.  Be impressed, be very impressed. 

As always with my health updates, I like to end on a laugh and this clip has absolutely SLAYED me this week - I've probably watched it 15 times and laughed so hard I've given myself a headache.  Please to enjoy goats yelling like humans.  My fave is the 2nd dude and the last 2.  Would it be rude to insinuate the little brown guy in the barn is "special?"

ROW - the George's Smoked Chicken Soup Edition

Somehow my book club buddy Catherine scored the recipe to George's On The Cove (to you non-locals, a delicious and gorgeous restaurant right on the, we'll, cove, but I'm thinking you already figured that part out) famous Smoked Chicken Soup. It's creamy slurpy deliciousness and I made it earlier this week.

It's surprisingly easy particularly because I cheated and did NOT smoke my own chicken (I mean really, who has that kind of time?) and instead just shredded a rotisserie chicken from Ralph's. bam.

Anyhoo, super easy and delicious though I'll go lighter on the butter next time, yikes. The food critic on the couch next to me surprised the hell out of me by eating it for several days of leftovers... And raved about it each time which tells you something. That's just downright unprecedented around these parts. Score!!!

More Aussie Pics - Daintree Rainforest!!

Well, Shielas and Bruces, it's time for more Aussie pics!  I'm sad to say there's only going to be 2 more posts after this...and I've stretched out the fun as long as possible.  No word back from Ellen, guess we didn't win the free Aussie trip - wah!

Anyhoo, I can honestly say the Daintree Rainforest is one of my favorite places on the entire planet.  It was so GORGEOUS - so lush and green and tropical and hugged the coast so it had amazing coastline views as well.  In addition the beautiful scenery, though, it just had such a presence.  I felt so calm and peaceful there, and Rob and I had some amazing experiences in some sacred Aboriginal spots during our stay.

It helped that we were staying in such an incredible place in an Eco Lodge in the heart of the rainforest, surrounded by sounds of the thousands of birds and insects...it just felt so healing and serene.  My favorite thing was sitting on our screened in patio and drinking coffee together quietly, just listening to the rainforest.

 

 

 

 

One day, we ventured out to the Mossman Gorge and swam in several sacred billabongs...it was surprisingly chilly but really fun!  There was no one else around, it felt very "Swiss Family Robinson" and really cool - we had such a fun day.

 Thank goodness we swam BEFORE we saw a gnarly poisonous snake...I shrieked like a little girl and had to go running past that sucker as he reared back - yikes!!!

 SNAKE!!!!!

 The other thing we did that was super cool was go on a boat down the Daintree River and we saw an ancient croc - they estimate his age to be around 70 years old, if you can believe it!  They nicknamed him Scarface for obvious reasons, boyfriend could use some Mederma.  Crazy thing, though, he has NO teeth left, which unfortunately left me to ask the boat captain how he survives - we heard the horrible story of how he still eats by crushing his prey and just the week before, a boat tour had watched in horror as he literally ripped the head off a cow drinking water from the river.  Um, thank you GOD that we weren't on that tour - not sure I would have such fond memories of the rainforest...pretty sure I'd still be in rehab if that was the case.  In fact, I kinda want to go now with just that visual image.  Blech.

Anyhoo, here's all of our pics of Daintree - so amazing.  Enjoy!!