It's been a crap week.

I don't know how else to say that but it's been such a crappy week.  I'm so sorry, I wish I could report to you that all was better.  I'm really struggling at this point and don't want to complain but I figured I'd at least keep you guys updated since I have so many sweet people asking how I'm doing.

I went to the doctor on Monday for a chair ride and it was such a positive day - they were able to confirm that I had crystals still out of place in the right anterior inner ear canal so nice reinforcement of prior results.  We did several treatment rotations and afterwards, I showed ZERO eye movement so we were so positive.  Here's me on the chair - I can fake "all is well" pretty nice, don't ya think? 

Rob and I went out to dinner to celebrate and we had such a great evening thinking all was well.  But then I woke up around 2 am with mega vertigo and I was just so crushed.  It's so hard to go through this emotional roller coaster and be such a victim to my symptoms, to not have any idea when and how this will go away, how long of a relief break I'll have (if any), etc.

 Tuesday morning I called my MD right away and they asked me to come back in so we drove BACK to get back on that freakin' chair.  I feel so guilty taking Rob away from work but of course he's happy to drive me and be with me - we're such a good team through this crap.  Plus, I still can't drive.  I tried driving to my hair appointment the other day and it was just awful - I was so dizzy and it was really scary.  So anyhoo, back on the chair, more eye movement which showed the crystals fell back out of place over night.  They explained it well to me at that visit, though, and showed us a great image of the anterior inner ear canal and reassured us that this is the most difficult canal to treat due to its formation.  Here's a pic of the canal, it's the tallest one there in the blue sketch, so you can see (how they were explaining) how difficult it is to get the crystals up and over that high loop and then back down the correct canal to the right...and also how easy it is for the crystals to fall back down the "bad" way back down to the left if they're stuck up at the top.  Sigh.

So anyway, another chair ride Tuesday and then AGAIN had spinning in the middle of the night on Tuesday.  It's gotten to the point I just dread nighttime and that says something - I usually LOVE sleeping and can fall asleep right away.  Now I wake up every half hour or so, am super scared about vertigo happening and I'm just exhausted in the morning.  This is so damn frustrating.  I've felt like crap ever since, my dizziness and fogginess is off the charts and I had vertigo again last night so I'm assuming I'm probably back on the chair again today, am waiting to hear from my doc.

I've promised myself not to end on a negative note, so as always, I want to focus on the positive.  Again I'm so grateful for all the love and support I have from friends and family - I had a lovely visit from my friend Katie this week and I received the greatest "spinny chair survival kit" from two of my friends at work.  It was hysterical and included this tiara and hat reminiscent of Fat Albert.  I'm not going to lie, I've been wearing the tiara a bunch sitting on the couch, it makes me happy.  I even answered the door wearing it the other day, ha!

And, I know I'm starting to sound like a crazy lady with my hummingbirds at this point but I don't care.  I thought the "5 at once" thing was a once in a lifetime happening but it's actually happened now 5 nights in a row, right around 8 pm!  It's so magical, they're all fighting and bitching and then all of a sudden, it's like a truce is called so they can all top off right before bed.  I swear they're like a bunch of ADHD kids - I mean, who else could load up on sugar right before bedtime?  :)  I got a little video on my phone (sideways, sorry) but only was able to catch 3 of the 5, but I still think it's cool to have captured them all sharing.  If you just think I'm a nutty lady with too much time on my hands, then...well...damnit, you're right.